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Seagulls. I fucking hate them.

What a completely useless species. What purpose in the universe could they possibly serve? What is the point of their existence? They are loud, they shit everywhere, and are a general nuisance. The bullies of the bird world, they will eat every scrap of food that they can find, and they usually do so in flocks. They’re not pretty to look at either.

Molly and I were heading to Loblaws to pick up dinner tonight, and while we were walking across the parking lot, the shithawks were out in full force. I’m always wary of them when they’re flying by, as they for some reason prefer to fly over peoples’ heads rather than on some random trajectory. Seriously, if you’ve never noticed before, if they are flying by, they will make a course correction to try and fly right over your head. I think they do it as we all look like targets to them.

Anyway, we were walking across the parking lot, and I noticed a few as they flew over head. I started to say to Molly, “I hate these birds as you never know when they’re gonna–” *SPLAT*. I was hit. Man down.

I wouldn’t have been as angry if it had hit my shirt, or my hat, or any article of clothing that I could simply throw into the laundry and clean, but NO, this precision bomb had to hit my backpack’s shoulder strap. Some of it got onto my shirt, and some of it hit Molly too. Splash damage, in the most foulest of terms. At that moment, if I had the ability to do so with a single thought, every shithawk on the planet would have dropped dead.

I seriously think that they do it on purpose. Something within their genetic code drives them to take a crap on those below, like some sort of sick “fly-by dumping”. How could something like this exist in Nature? Disgusting creatures.

Breakfast

• Two light Babybels

Lunch

• Small chicken Caesar salad with real bacon bits - (Dominion - 250g)
• Light Caesar dressing

Dinner

• Strip loin with garlic salt
• Veggies (red pepper, red onion, zucchini, mushrooms, olive oil, Cajun spice)