On June 19th, my Xbox Live account expired, and the automatic renewal didn’t go through. Turns out, I had an OLD credit card still on file with them and they attempted to charge it, which obviously failed. I’d been playing “inFamous” for the PS3 a lot as of late, so this didn’t really concern me until I realised it’d been a while since I’d picked on a few annoying kids in “GTA IV”, and needed to get some stress relief. Last night I sorted out the credit card issue, and the new one was billed, but I still couldn’t get connected to Xbox Live.

Fast forward to this morning, I decided to do something about it, and called their support line. They gave me some ports to open on the router, which didn’t make sense to me as I tried to connect with DMZ enabled, but lo and behold, the opened ports fixed the issue, and I was able to connect again. So, naturally, I decided to load up GTA IV, and find some people to play against, hoping that I’d come across a whiny foul-mouthed brat to select as my target.

Didn’t take long at all.

In GTA IV, my favourite gaming mode is “free mode”, as you can do whatever the hell you want. No missions, no story, just you, vehicles, weapons, and a bunch of other like-minded individuals running around and fucking things up. Great fun. However, there are times when you have some jackasses that like to screw around with other people, yet if you pick on them they complain. The main issue I have with the Xbox Live service is that there is NO WAY to turn off the voice chat by default. Personally, I’d rather not hear them at all, and it’s too much of a pain in the ass to mute everyone. So, I tend to seek out the loudest and foul-mouthed brat in the game session, and only blow the shit out of him.

Today, my target was a little snot called “DOA by HiKoO”. His voice sounded familiar (and by “familiar” I mean shrill and one possibly belonging to a fat kid), and the language coming from this dude was amazing. Within two minutes of joining, he was calling someone a “n*gger”, which is usually an indication of two things to me:

1. He is located in the United States, as that seems to be the most popular curse word to call someone. Never mind calling someone an “asshole” or “fucktard”… he went straight for the race card.
2. He will whine if I target only him, as his only skill is cursing.

So, I proceeded to do just that. I went to the airport, got a chopper, and as soon as I saw him running around, I landed on him, naturally killing him. My assumptions were right, as he went on a HUGE rant of how I was a n*gger, and that everyone should kick me out of the game. This didn’t stop me, as I kept up the abuse, blowing him up (when you’re in the chopper, you get an unlimited supply of rocket ammo), and even another dude called “xCCWx BATISTA” joined in on the fun. Within five minutes of me picking on “DOA by HiKoO”, he left the game. I played a little bit longer in that game session, but then decided to go follow my new “friend”. 

During the signing in process of a game, the voice chat usually starts up about 10 seconds before the game, and he was already saying “Fuck you, Dysantic, you n*gger! Go away!”. Awwww… the love. Making me want to “play” even more. Molly came into the room at that point wondering what the noise was about, so I filled her in, and she sat down to watch for a bit. During that little match, I ran him over, and then also got a chopper to start blowing him up again, but some of his other pals decided to band together, and instead of battling me, they kicked me from the game. I couldn’t stop laughing.

So, “DOA by HiKoO”, you are my new “friend” on Xbox Live. I can’t wait to battle against you again… even if it is a one-sided battle. Your cursing is an indication of your ignorance, and if nothing else, that is the message I hope to hammer home to you. Besides, I’m bored, and I need a hobby. You should feel honoured!