Dear whoever it is living in the unit above me,

You may not have realised this, but, you live in an apartment. This means that as a courtesy to your surrounding neighbours, you try to keep your noisy activities to a minimum. I understand that people like to listen to loud music… so do I. It is also understood that to really experience that 7.1 surround sound system while watching a movie or playing video games, you need to have it at near deafening levels… hey, I’m not one to complain, since I do the same.

But… having a set of drums? At some point, the line MUST be drawn.

Not only is it loud when you play those drums, not only does the concrete between our units do nothing to block the noise those things make (even though I can barely hear any other sounds), but you… SUCK.

You REALLY do. I remember in Middle School and High School that some classmates learned to play the drums as part of band class, and THEY were better than you. Even when they had just picked up the sticks for the first time. Seriously.

Honestly, I wouldn’t have that much of a problem with you playing the drums in the early evening, when I get home from a possibly stressful day of work, wanting nothing else but to relax, perhaps play a video game, watching TV or a movie, maybe even have a bit of a nap… yet… you have no RHYTHM. It sounds like there’s a drunk monkey wailing away on those things instead of a human with the minimal sense of co-ordination needed to ensure the sticks connect with the drums. If you could keep a beat, I probably wouldn’t care all that much.

Please. Please take up another instrument. Maybe the xylophone. Perhaps the guitar. How about the bagpipes? Even if you couldn’t play the bagpipes worth a shit, it would sound better than your drumming. You are THAT BAD. They say that practice makes perfect… but really, I don’t think it’s going to happen for you. Best to just quit now.

So… could you do me a favour and consider it? Otherwise, I might have to toss your precious drums off your balcony.

Thanks. I appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Evan.