Super-villians:

1. What’s his/her name or alias?

“Evil Beerman”. A dude who likes beer, but is evil… hence, the name is self-explanitory.

2. What are his/her abilities?

Super strength from all the carbs in the beer, also extremely light (even though he doesn’t look like it) due to all the carbonation he ingests which means he can jump high and float on water, and he also has a destructive power in the form of a giant burp. Seriously, he can level buildings.

3. What’s his/her main goal as an all-powerful villain?

To be the primary supplier of beer to the entire planet, and corner the market on snacks usually consumed with beer (corn chips, beer nuts, pretzels, etc).

4. By what means does he/she go about trying to accomplish this?

Burping away the competition or drinking them out of business, and rebuilding or aquiring the breweries as part of his evil empire. The same applies for the snack industry. Anyone in his way is burped into oblivion. Not a pretty way to go.

5. What’s his/her fatal flaw or weakness?

Bullets, along with liver and heart disease.

BONUS: Describe or draw your preferred villainous attire.

1. If you had a jar of peanut butter, what would you do with it?

I’d see if Molly wanted it, otherwise I’d throw it out or drop it in a food bin. I hate peanut butter.

2. If you were to be cremated, where would you want your ashes to go and why?

Somewhere up in Algonquin. I’ve always loved it up there. Camping is a passion of mine, and I take every opportunity I can to escape the city and technology. Can’t wait to go on a bunch of trips this year, and if everything works out, a solo one too!

3. If you could invent a flavour of jelly beans, what would it be?

I don’t think there is a jelly bean flavour that HASN’T been tried. Look at Jelly Belly jelly beans. They’ve got a TON of flavours… even “popcorn”, which is just wrong. Also, for a while, there were “Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans” based off the jelly beans in the Harry Potter books. Earwax? Ugh.

4. What would your perfect paradise be like?

Up north/north-east about three or so hours from Toronto, with a large plot of land next to a lake, a large cottage which I would call my home, perhaps some neighbours not too far away but far enough away that I would have some privacy and they wouldn’t complain about loud music, and a high speed internet connection so I could stay in touch with the world and update my site as infrequently as I choose.

5. If you could fly, where would you go?

Anywhere I wanted at that given time. Australia? Sure. Bahamas? Why not? Australia? …again?

1. What is your happiest memory?

I have many happy memories, ranging from times with friends, times with family, and times doing my own thing. I can’t think of a specific happy memory that stands out among the others… I’m just glad to have as many happy memories as I do, and the chance to make more.

2. What is the most important life lesson you’ve learned?

Enjoy your time with your family and friends, because when they’re gone, you’ll always wish you had done one more thing with them.

3. What is the most difficult decision you’ve had to make?

It wasn’t a difficult decision, but it certainly was the one I never wanted to face: When my Father collapsed the first time and was rushed to the hospital, the surgeon told me that they needed to operate to try and save his life. There was a chance that he might die on the operating table, yet if he didn’t have the surgery, he would most certainly die. It was a no-brainer; go forward with the surgery… but to have that decision fall on me was stressful to say the least.

4. What is the best thing about your life?

Molly. In the last year I would have lost my mind without her help and constant support. Thanks babe. I love you.

5. What is the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?

Just making sure that everything gets done that needs to get done. Many things on the go right now, but in six months, the chaos that is my life should have settled down, and I can get back to enjoying it as much as I used to.

1. At what age do you think it’s appropriate for someone to get their driver’s license?

In Ontario, the youngest age someone can get their license is 16, and that’s fine by me. We have graduated licensing, which means that they have restrictions for the first few years before they get a full license. That’s a good thing as it cuts down on some of the recklessness that kids of that age have, especially on the road. However, for someone like me who never got around to getting their license, the restrictions are a bit of a pain in the ass, especially considering I’m 31, and quite a responsible person these days.

No, really, I am! I swear!  

2. At what age do you think it’s appropriate for someone to first drink alcohol?

When they’re old enough to know what a hangover is, and suffer through it without bitching.

3. At what age do you think it’s appropriate for someone to become sexually active?

If it’s my kid, when they’re old enough to know that if they end up having a child before they’re ready (as in, have finished school and have an established career) that I’ll kill them. 

4. At what age do you think it’s appropriate for someone to vote in elections affecting national and/or local government?

When they’re old enough to have a personal opinion about what they’re voting on, and truly understand what having a vote means.

5. At what age do you think it’s appropriate for someone to be conscripted for military service?

Never. It should be an individual choice, and not something that someone is forced into. That being said, however, I’m going to encourage my kid(s) to serve in the military for a bit when they are in their teens. It’s good to have some discipline in your life at that age if you don’t already have some.

1. If other people could choose an animal to best represent you, what do you think they would choose?

Knowing my friends, they’d probably choose something embarrassing or weird, like a donkey or a slug or a fainting goat.

2. If you could choose an animal that would best represent you, what would you choose?

A cat. I’m inquisitive, cute, love to play, have quick reflexes, and I’m always eager to have my back scratched. Also, I purr sometimes, but only for one person.

3. If you could have an actor play you in a movie, who would it be?

Ryan Reynolds. He’s frikkin’ hilarious, and can be a complete sarcastic smart-ass. Just like me.

4. If you could meet someone who is dead, who would it be and why?

Galileo. To thank him for being the visionary he was, and for his contributions to the future of mankind, even though his theories were met with opposition from some of the backwards people of his time. Without him, science wouldn’t be where it is today.

5. What would your last meal be?

Chicken and creamed corn soup. I love that stuff… to death!

…so, you know, I would eat so much of it that I would die, thus making it my last meal… ah, forget it.