1. What’s his/her name or alias?

“Evil Beerman”. A dude who likes beer, but is evil… hence, the name is self-explanitory.

2. What are his/her abilities?

Super strength from all the carbs in the beer, also extremely light (even though he doesn’t look like it) due to all the carbonation he ingests which means he can jump high and float on water, and he also has a destructive power in the form of a giant burp. Seriously, he can level buildings.

3. What’s his/her main goal as an all-powerful villain?

To be the primary supplier of beer to the entire planet, and corner the market on snacks usually consumed with beer (corn chips, beer nuts, pretzels, etc).

4. By what means does he/she go about trying to accomplish this?

Burping away the competition or drinking them out of business, and rebuilding or aquiring the breweries as part of his evil empire. The same applies for the snack industry. Anyone in his way is burped into oblivion. Not a pretty way to go.

5. What’s his/her fatal flaw or weakness?

Bullets, along with liver and heart disease.

BONUS: Describe or draw your preferred villainous attire.

I’d see if Molly wanted it, otherwise I’d throw it out or drop it in a food bin. I hate peanut butter.

2. If you were to be cremated, where would you want your ashes to go and why?

Somewhere up in Algonquin. I’ve always loved it up there. Camping is a passion of mine, and I take every opportunity I can to escape the city and technology. Can’t wait to go on a bunch of trips this year, and if everything works out, a solo one too!

3. If you could invent a flavour of jelly beans, what would it be?

I don’t think there is a jelly bean flavour that HASN’T been tried. Look at Jelly Belly jelly beans. They’ve got a TON of flavours… even “popcorn”, which is just wrong. Also, for a while, there were “Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans” based off the jelly beans in the Harry Potter books. Earwax? Ugh.

4. What would your perfect paradise be like?

Up north/north-east about three or so hours from Toronto, with a large plot of land next to a lake, a large cottage which I would call my home, perhaps some neighbours not too far away but far enough away that I would have some privacy and they wouldn’t complain about loud music, and a high speed internet connection so I could stay in touch with the world and update my site as infrequently as I choose.

5. If you could fly, where would you go?

Anywhere I wanted at that given time. Australia? Sure. Bahamas? Why not? Australia? …again?

That’s where the Kurt Kinetic Road Machine comes into play. On the recommendation of Simon, I sought out this wonderful device, and purchased it for winter use. Sure, I could go to more spinning classes (read: go back to spinning classes), but I find that I’d rather do more physical activity at home, listening to the music that I like, and not have to spend $20 per class, and also ride the TTC home afterwards being all sweaty and looking wiped out.

One thing though: my bike has off-road tires. They’ve come in handy over the few years I’ve had this bike, as I’ve never had to worry about sticking to the road when riding on the unbeaten path would be faster, yet the treads make a HELL of a racket on the Road Machine, so I decided to switch to the Tioga City Slicker tires I bought last April and never got around to putting them on.

And that is where the fun began.

In the entire time I’ve ever owned a bike, I’ve never had to change a tire. I count myself as lucky in this regard, yet it left me completely clueless as to what I had to do should I ever need to replace a flat tire. No idea where to start. I should have been able to figure it out, but didn’t feel up to some trial and error, and thankfully I had my Macbook nearby and found a video showing how to do it. Ahhhh, the power of the internet.

So, with all that out of the way, and the new City Slicker tire on the rear, and now connected to the Road Machine, I now have yet another exercise device in out apartment. Which I can ignore and procrastinate using. Money well spent.

One of the items we found was a fake fur coat that resembles mink. I don’t think I seen my Granny wear this more than twice in the last 15 years, so it is obviously something she doesn’t need anymore, and we were going to give it to one of Molly’s friends. I opted to put it on and model it, and quickly realised that I looked almost like a pimp. The only hat we had on hand was my Father’s leather hat he got years back, so the resulting image is a mix of hilarious and disturbing. Check it out:

Yeah man, that's the shiznit.

I took it off pretty quickly afterwards because I was roasting in that thing… and also because I didn’t really think it suited me. I mean, come on… it TOTALLY doesn’t go with that hat.